Monday, September 28, 2009

Deep in the Trenches

Motherhood is tricky. We wear many hats, multitask like crazy and wear ourselves thin emotionally, physically and mentally.

Right now I feel like I have been Deep in the Trenches for a very long time. I have not seen sunlight for awhile. Where is that ray of bright sunshine? The one that is to let me know that these trials have passed?

Not only am I a mother to my own 3 children, but I am a mother to 23 Young Women. The work is never done.

Recently I have spent much time in prayer and thought. There have been numerous reasons for this. One of my children going through a difficult emotional time regarding her favorite past time, finding out that another child needs a surgery and yet the other child is overwhelmed, frustrated and trying to make sense out of life.

And then there are 23 others with trials, upsets, troubles and just trying to be a teenager in a crazy world.

You know you are spent when during the primary program you start sobbing during a song that your friend's darling girls are singing. What???? Why then???

The emotions are right on the surface. I could hardly read a story during YW's yesterday and it wasn't a sad story.

I don't claim to have all the answers or solutions. All I can do is my best. It seems as if my best has not been good enough.

There are day's when I am just so tired and worn out. I know Satan is trying to get the best of me. I WILL NOT let him win this battle!

I must keep fighting and get myself out of the trench before the next battle ensues.

And so it continues....

4 comments:

kara jayne said...

oh Brandee...i'm sorry it's your time in the trenches. you are an amazing person, mom, and yw leader. you obviously love and care to a fault. count your blessings and remember that "the sun will come out...tomorrow...or the next day."

stacey said...

Godd luck sistah!! If anyone can muddle through and come out with her head held high it's you babe!!

What surgery?

shawni said...

You are so amazing, Brandee, that I know you'll get thorugh anything. Those kids of yours (biological and through the church) are SO lucky to have you in their lives! Please let me know if I can help with anything!

Love, Shawni

Steph said...

You are such a fantastic mother and YW leader. If anyone can multitask and keep up with it all it's you. You are one strong lady. Keep it up, I know you can! Love ya