as i left church today... i left something behind. it was a huge part of me. i have a broken heart, a gaping hole and an overall sadness. today i was released from my calling. this was something i was not prepared for or even expected. it was a complete shock! i have served for the last 4 1/2 years in our young women's program. i have LOVED every minute of it.
the association with the girls and leaders. fun activities, spiritual lessons, making friendships and new experiences are just a few of the highlights. every sunday and wednesday i would be with these girls and leaders. what to do now?
i loved and enjoyed serving them, being there for them, watching them grow and mature, learning from them and having each and every one of them in my life. i have shed so many tears...my eyes burn and my head aches.
i know i am not defined by my calling. at the same time it was such a big part of me and my life. i don't remember life before young women's. my family has been a great comfort to me. alec said he would bake me a cake and that is what he did. chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and a "we love you" on top. fresh cinnamon rolls from my good friend and a date with my husband on my first wednesday without young women's.
and so begins a new chapter. i will spend time with kenzie getting her ready for byu in april, bond with alec while he still likes to spend time with me and be there for jensen in between all of her activities. i am so thankful for such supportive friends and family. although they may not understand the depth of my sadness, they are doing all they can to support.
one never knows what life has in store. my goal of "i can do hard things" has worn me out. little did i know that i would be challenged continually this year. i am grateful for the opportunity i had to serve and that i was able to be in there with my daughters. life moves forward and so must i.
i bid a fond farewell to all my young women and friends. cherished memories i will carry with me. here is to a new adventure and a healing heart.
